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(334) 664-0463Each day more and more families are finding homes at Fort Benning and the surrounding areas, including Phenix City, AL, Fort Mitchell, AL and Columbus, GA, in large part due to the military. At Fort Benning, soldiers find the opportunity to join some of the most distinguished U.S. Army units, including: the 3rd Brigade Combat Team of the 3rd Infantry Division, the 11th Engineers Battalion, and the 75th Ranger Regiment. Along with the soldier, spouses and children also find new places to live and often begin new jobs, new schools, and even find new friends along the way. They soon become familiar with the River Walk, look forward to Friday night concerts on Broadway, and experience the local cuisine at restaurants such as Minnie’s, Ezell’s, and the Loft, as Fort Benning truly is home–for now.
It is no secret that the lives of military service members and their families differ greatly from civilian life in a variety of ways. For kids – often deemed military “brats” – the life changes and transitions that come frequently may be extremely difficult or challenging. Kids are not as emotionally mature as adults and may experience additional difficulties as a result of the unique sets of circumstances that come with the military lifestyle. As a licensed child psychologist in Phenix City, I work with many kids and families, both those who are in the military and those who are not. From my experience working with all children over the course of my career, and from talking with military family members in the area, I have identified a list of common questions or concerns that families may have due to the unique nature of the military lifestyle. This not a comprehensive list, but rather a guideline for some steps that military families may take to ease the effects that a transient lifestyle may have on their children. Of course, each individual child and circumstance is different, so please do not hesitate to consult a physician or child psychologist if you believe that your child is experiencing physical or emotional difficulties.
Common Military Family Challenges Children Experience and Some Basic Steps Parents May Take
1. PCS (military lingo for moving to a new duty station).
Every few years and sometimes more frequently, families pick up and move to follow the military service member’s career. For kids, this means leaving behind the familiar – school, teachers, coaches, friends, even the geography and favorite places of an area, such as playgrounds or restaurants. Kids may understandably struggle with this. Young children may not even understand what is happening and cannot comprehend why their best friends can no longer come over to play. While families may not have much advance notice when it is time to move, taking a moment to prepare kids for what to expect can go a long way in making the transition as smooth as possible.
2. Training, Deployments, and more
When military service members are away from the home for extended periods or are in a dangerous place such as a war zone, kids may experience anxiety or fear and will feel the disruption in routine. Again, preparation can be helpful. If kids know a parent will be leaving, whether it is for a couple weeks or a couple years, knowing ahead of time can give them time to prepare emotionally. With the military, advance notice may be in short supply, but you can prepare together a day or two or even the night before, if necessary. Take advantage of whatever time and notice is given to develop a family plan for coping with the upcoming absence.
Parents may wonder “How much do I tell my child about where the deployed parent is going and what might happen there?”
Once a parent leaves, developing a new daily routine at home will be helpful in allowing children to feel “normal” despite a parent’s absence.
Next week in Part 2, I will address “reacclimation” after a service member’s lengthy absence, managing expectations and helping kids to understand and cope with broken promises that may arise due to an abrupt change in the military service schedule.
Dr. Michelle DeRamus is a child psychologist with Preferred Medical Group and works at the Phenix City Children’s clinic. She accepts Tricare Prime and Standard, as well as other insurances. She specializes in Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and provides diagnostic testing and therapy services for developmental delays, learning problems and ADHD. She also works with anger, anxiety, depression, family problems and peer relationships.