The purpose of this book list is to provide helpful tools to help you start conversations with children that you care about and promote on-going conversations with them. Remember, this is just a guide! More resources can be made available.

These books have been chosen for readability (easy to follow, easy for child to comprehend), attractiveness (colorful, engaging), accuracy/clarity, price/availability, value, interactive ability, message, notes to parents, cultural & ethnic diversity and length.

The hope is that we can help children appropriately label feelings, increase self-esteem and confidence, empower kids to use their voice and be comfortable with his/her own body and be able to appropriately label body parts.

We recommend that adults always read the book yourself before reading with children, be prepared to answer questions, read them with your children; never just hand the book to a child to read on their own and seek out books that include a “Note to Parents” section in addition to checking for online resources as well.

Also don’t rely on just one book; use them in conjunction with others. Check in with kids after reading the book for comprehension and ability to recall important details. Revisit favorite books or explore new ones, Don’t rely on a one time conversation or story time to convey important messages to children.

These books can be found at • Libraries • Bookstores • Online shopping sites like Amazon • Book, publisher, or author’s websites.

The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (1 and 2) 

• Author: Valorie Lee Schaefer • Published 2012 • Price: $9 • Recommended Ages – 1: 8-12  yrs & 2: 10-14yrs. Summary: Guide for girls, answering questions from hair care to body changes. Tips and how-to’s. • Head-to-toe advice • Encourages conversation with parents/adults • Changes associated with puberty. Recommendations: • A “go-to” book for girls • Choose book one or two for appropriate age intended.

Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys

• Author: Dr. Cara Natterson • Published: 2017 • Price: $10 • Recommended Age: 9-12 yrs.  Summary: This book provides answers to questions boys may have as they grow up, including information on hair care, healthy eating, shaving, acne, voice changes, and everything in between. Highlights: • Head-to-toe advice • Encourages conversation with parents/adults • Changes associated with puberty Recommendations: • A “go-to” book for boys • Self-care topics.

Those are MY Private Parts

• Author: Diane Hansen • Published: 2004 • Price: $14 • Recommended ages: 3-8 yrs. Summary: Explains “private parts” and uses rhyming to teach that it is never ok for someone else to touch your private parts, and how to get help. Highlights: • Fun illustrations • Lets child repeat the message. Recommendations: • Pause often while reading to give your child time to ask questions • Utilize additional information, but focus on book content.

My Body! What I say goes! 

• Author: Jayneen Sanders • Published: 2016 • Price: $9.95 • Recommended age: 3-10 yrs. Summary: A book to empower and teach children about personal body safety, feelings, safe and unsafe touch, private parts, consent, and respectful relationships. Highlights: • Interactive questions throughout book to engage children • Extensive discussion section for parents to use for starting the conversation • Directly addresses wide range of important topics. Recommendations: • Talk about “early warning signs” and what they may be for your child. Discussion section • Use supplemental activity book • Use at different ages & stages with your child.

I said No! A kid-to-kid guide to keeping your private parts private 

• Authors: Kimberly and Zack King • Published: 2008 • Price: $10 • Recommended ages: 4+ yrs. Summary: Zack tells his story of an uncomfortable experience at his first sleepover party and how he learned to stay safe. He had courage to ask adults for help and even teaches other kids special tips for staying safe. Highlights: • Scenarios for kids: Think, Say & Do • Doesn’t focus on Stranger Danger • Green & Red Flags Recommendations: • Be prepared to customize your conversation when given the opportunity • Read one section at a time, not all in one sitting.

My Body’s Mine 

• Author: Kayla J.W. Marnach • Published: 2015 • Price: $9.50 • Recommended ages: 4-8 yrs. Summary: This book uses rhyme to teach kids body boundaries and what to do if an adult asks them to keep a secret. Includes questions in the back to help children think critically about feelings and situations. Highlights: • Focuses on right to have control over own body & to give permission for touch • Child-friendly, non-threatening language. Recommendations: • Book is vague, doesn’t address appropriate/inappropriate touch (talk specifics); “yucky feeling” • Read in sections, not all at once.

The Way I Feel 

• Author: Janan Cain • Published: 2000 • Price: $12 • Recommended ages: 3-8 yrs. Summary: Helps children describe their emotions and understand that feelings are a normal part of life. Highlights: • Very colorful, vivid illustrations • Easy to understand • Emotions include: shy, frustrated, bored. Recommendations: • Read “Note to Parents” • Also read “Today I Feel Silly”.

Speak

• Author: Laurie Halse Anderson • Published 2011 • Price: $4.99 • Recommended Ages 12-18 yrs. Summary: High school freshman, Melinda, is an isolated teenager who was sexually assaulted at a party. She uses art to heal and find her voice. Highlights: • Discusses difficult topic of sexual assault • Identifiable theme of the dangers of victim-blaming • Evolution of effective coping strategies. Recommendations: • Post-reading discussion • No need for guided reading with your teen • Also used well in classroom setting.

Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept 

• Author: Jayneen Sanders • Published: 2011 • Price: $10-15 • Recommended ages: 3-7 yrs. Summary: Young Sir Alfred courageously tells his story of inappropriate touch to his mother and learns that he can always tell, no matter what. Highlights: • Fairytale setting • Web resources • Change in behavior. Recommendations: • Discuss different situations, sexual abuse can happen to anyone • Review information in back of book and online.

Amazing You! Getting Smart About your Private Parts 

• Author: Gail Saltz • Published: 2008 • Price: $7 • Recommended ages: 3+ yrs. Summary: This book talks about sexual reproduction, differences between female and male anatomy, and protecting your body. Highlights: • Uses correct anatomical names • Encourages children to be comfortable with their bodies • Helpful aid for parents nervous about addressing the famous question “where do babies come from?” Recommendations: • Split the book up or skip some parts depending on your child’s age • Recommended for 7+ yrs instead of preschool age.

Some Parts are Not for Sharing

• Author: Julie Federico • Published: 2009 • Price: $7 • Recommended age: 6 months+.  Summary: Uses examples to explain to very young children which body parts are for sharing. Highlights: • Starter book for very young kids • Bright and colorful • Simple, repetitive message. Recommendations: • Use as a first book for children under 3 yrs. • Combine with regular conversations as your child grows.

Sex is a Funny Word

• Author: Cory Silverberg & Fiona Smyth • Published: 2015 • Price: $13 • Recommended age: 8+ yrs. Summary: Starts the conversation about sex with children using relatable scenarios. Gives clear information and discusses the different layers and meanings of the word “sex.” Highlights: • A thorough explanation • Thorough, kid friendly messaging • Discussion questions after each section • Digs a bit deeper into topics of sexuality, gender, love and respect. Recommendations: • Read this book over the course of months or years with your child • Read through the book first to anticipate discussion questions • Be prepared to discuss topics such as gender identity, sexual orientation, and masturbation.

Keeping My Body Safe

• Published: 2010 • Price: $1.99 • Recommended ages: 3-5 yrs. Summary: Interactive workbook for parents to complete with their young child. Highlights: • Colorful, fun, interactive activities • Encourages safe touch; Nonthreatening • Excellent Note to Parents throughout. Recommendations: • Complete in sections, not all at once • Practice assertive statements with children.

American Girl: Digital World

• Author: Carrie Anton • Age: 9+ yrs.• Price: $9 • Published: 2018. Summary: Discusses a variety of topics to help set online boundaries like posting actual photos, selfies, making accounts private, talking with friends online, etc. Recommendations: • Use as a starting point for social media use • Mostly girl-oriented • Introduces topics like cyberbullying, making safe usernames/passwords. Suggestions: • Take the “quizzes” together and read through scenarios • There may be reasons to go more in-depth so cater material to your child's needs.

Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent & Respect

• Author: Jayneen Sanders • Age: 4-10 years • Published: 2018 • Price: $10. Summary: Introduces the concept of body “boundaries” and emphasizes a child’s sense of self-confidence and how they should expect to be treated by others. Recommendations: • Great introductory book on body safety, consent, respect (self/others) • Use caregiver discussion questions in back of book! Positive Aspects: • Characters are diverse (ethnic background, physical ability) • Each topic is introduced with simple, child-friendly example.

Body Safety Education

• Author: Jayneen Sanders • Published: 2015 • Price: $15 Summary: • “A Parents’ Guide to Protecting Kids from Sexual Abuse” • Step-by-step guide for caregivers on how to have age-appropriate discussions to keep kids safe.

Resilience

• Author: Jayneen Sanders • Age: 4-9 years • Published: 2017 • Price: $10 Summary: Emmi is resilient, independent and courageous. She always tries her best. Emmi’s story models resilience, persistence and the ability to face challenges. Recommendations: • Be prepared to discuss death of pets • Swimming, biking are used as examples – May not be useful for children with varying levels of physical ability. Positive Aspects: • Emphasizes caregiver love & support • Encourages perseverance • Use caregiver discussion points in back – Questions for both caregiver, teacher.

Understanding Children’s Sexual Behaviors

• Author: Toni Cavanagh Johnson, Ph.D. • Published: 2015 • Price: ~$3.00 (depending on quantity) • Recommended age: 18+ yrs. Summary: Easy-to-read, highly informative and practical booklet for parents, teachers, social workers, and anyone else who wants to understand children’s sexual behaviors. Highlights: • Accurately and simply describes sexual behaviors in children that are commonly misunderstood • Gives guidance for parents to have healthy dialogue with children about sexual encounters (in media or otherwise) • Helpful charts on childhood sexual behaviors by developmental age.  Recommendations: • Read this book when concerned about your child’s sexual behavior to determine whether or not it is “normal” • Use as a reference if unsure how to address sexual play, etc. with your child • Useful in identifying potentially problematic sexual behaviors.

These books are NOT recommended due to: • Inaccuracy of the information • Ineffective way of teaching children about child abuse • Not written by child abuse prevention experts • Information may be biased and not as child-appropriate as the books featured above.

• Don’t Hide Abuse by Robert Kahn

• Samuel Learns to Yell and Tell by Debi Pearl 

• Sara Sue learns to Yell and Tell by Debi Pearl 

• Trouble with Secrets by Karen Johnsen

• Good Touch/Bad Touch by Robert Kahn

Resources 

• Book reviews, movie reviews, and more: – https://www.pluggedin.com/ – https://www.commonsensemedia.org/• Book Discussion Questions – https://focusonthefamily.webconnex.com/co-tfbdq – Must register to gain access to all discussion questions 

50 Fun Family Ideas 

• Start reading to kids in infancy – Important for infants to hear lots of words • Including getting read to! – Helps you get comfortable with the topic • Set up family reading challenges – Be careful about messaging getting lost – “Debrief” each book before moving on • Do a family book club – Come up with family discussion questions or use resources provided • https://focusonthefamily.webconnex.com/co-tfbdq • Must register to access 

 Summary 

• It is extremely important to start having conversations with children early and often • Regular talks provide a good foundation for: – Respect and healthy relationships – Opening up lines of communication within families – Boundaries, self-worth • Regular talks can help to prevent: – Child sexual abuse – Early and/or unprotected sex in adolescence – Teen dating violence, bullying, etc

We hope you find this information valuable.

Dr. T with input from Children's Healthcare of Atlanta