As we get back into the swing of school, a lot of big questions come up:
Should my child have a phone? What if they are participating in after school practice and need to call that practice is canceled or ended early?
What devices are best for what age?
Are these safe for their developing brains and how does this affect their social skills?
What kind of communication should they have?
How connected to the internet should they be?
These are all questions that are coming up daily in our world. Parents struggle with these decisions every day, and as a pediatrician I struggle to help. This is the first generation of parents that are having to navigate digital exposure to their children from day 1 of their lives. In fact, this has become such an issue that the surgeon general has discussed placing health warnings on all smartphones.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not giving your child a smartphone until 8th grade, or 13 years of age. Although this sounds like an easy enough goal, how do you combat peer pressure when your elementary child comes home and states that “everyone has one”?
Finding like-minded parents can help with this. There is a movement called the “Wait until 8th grade” where thousands of parents have signed this pledge to hold off on getting their kids a phone until 8th grade. It is difficult to say “no” in a world of evolving technology, but slightly easier if you know you aren’t the only one saying setting limits.
That being said, just saying no is not an easy answer or choice. As a parent, you may feel like all you can do is keep saying no all day long to screens and phones. It can be overwhelming trying to set boundaries to the internet and phones. On the pediatrician side, I find myself frustrated trying to give advice when hackers and child predators are getting smarter everyday. On top of that, kids are often more savvy with technology than their parents! Just saying no to all technology is not an end-all solution. Phones, screens, and technology are here to stay.
To better navigate this new parental challenge that older generations did not face, we need to proceed with guidance. Where do we get this guidance? One such place we have found is the nonprofit organization Screen Sanity. Screen Sanity was created by three moms out of Kansas City in 2018 who recognized the challenges they were facing and wanted to make a change. It’s a non-profit that began in the middle of America and now is reaching across the globe. Their mission is to create a world where kids are captivated by life and not screens. Their website is a wealth of information and resources, in an easy to navigate format. This organization champions the Drivers Ed analogy “Ride, Practice, Drive” in reference to device introduction. They use the analogy that teaching your kid to drive a device is like teaching your kid to drive a car, it is done intentionally and incrementally.
Using Screen Sanity’s smartphone roadmap and First Phone Comparison chart, which is available for free on their website, they recommend a step up approach to devices. Getting basic phones or watches made by companies like Gizmo, Gabb, and Light phone without the bells and whistles of a smartphone. A paired-down smartphone could be an option as well. Your child has the ability to call home without surfing the internet. Or if they do have access to the internet, use of parental controls for internet use can help control what children see.
We at Pediatric Care North feel so passionate and hopeful about this nonprofit program. We have posters from the program in every room of our practice. We are also offering a free Parent Night on screen safety by Screen Sanity on Oct 3rd at 6:00 pm in our community room at Pediatric Care North. The upcoming Screen Sanity Parent Night offers practical ways for families to maximize the benefits of technology while minimizing the harmful side effects. Featuring expert-led videos, discussion questions and take-home tips, Screen Sanity Parent Night will cover today’s most pressing digital health topics. Parents will walk away with a vision for creating screen time boundaries, introducing smartphones, managing screen-related meltdowns and protecting kids from mature or unsafe content. The seating limit is 50. You will be able to enroll here, on our website at www.pediatriccarenorth.com or on our Pediatric Care North Facebook page. You can find more information about the program at www.screensanity.org
In addition to Screen Sanity, the American Academy of Pediatrics has published guidelines about phone/internet use as well:
Talk about having a phone agreement. Parents should have the ability to access the passwords and check texts.
Remind kids that getting a cell phone does not mean that they should have social media.
Set expectations about phone use in the house, at dinner time and and during homework time. Parents as well as the kids should stay off the phone at dinner time- let’s engage with each other at dinner time! Let's talk about our day!
Set privacy, content contact, download, and downtime settings- Explain to your children why it is important to avoid running into inappropriate content. Without protections, the average age of a child accidentally running into porn is 9 years old!
Check in with your kids on how it’s going using the phone. Is the phone interrupting their school time? Are they getting too much texting and calls? Is it overwhelming?
Help your kids solve issues with the phone or other devices.
I would like to close out with a few paraphrased remarks from former AAP President Colleen Kraft, M.D., FAAP: She stated that we need to get back to the times when we allow our children to be bored, and not continuously stimulated by screens. Our society now tends to continually want entertainment, and this is not good for creativity. Boredom leads to creativity, personal growth and development. Children as well as adults need downtime and boredom to recharge the mind. More green time and less screen time is needed.
Technology is here to stay, but that doesn’t mean we can’t approach it with education, training, and preparation.