Do you really want cupid hitting the right spot this year?  Then do not mistakenly believe we can read others’ minds or predict someone else's behavior (projection).  The easiest and most reliable path to intimacy is simply to ask our significant other to express their truth. Furthermore, surprises aren’t always as successful as we’d like them to be. Surprises can be overwhelming, or out of step with the other person’s idea of the stage of the relationship at hand.

If we truly want to experience a higher level of intimacy on Valentine’s Day, set aside the rituals of years past and be willing to have fun with spontaneity and the unexpected.  Projection does rob us of surprise and fun, so every time our minds begin to weave the predictable narrative we carry around, we can just cut it short, stay in the present moment and fan the flames.  As Valentine’s day approaches, remember, it’s not often that we ponder precisely what we find attractive in our significant other.  Usually, human beings are stirred by that mysterious force we call chemistry, and learning what characteristics make up chemistry can be magical.

This Valentine’s Day pay attention to how easy it is to just listen to what our partner is saying. We need not project or forecast, just listen, and the instructions for true magic will be embedded in their narrative.  It's easy to build up Valentine’s Day like it’s going to be perfectly romantic, filled with moments that could literally be their own movie.  Cherishing the moment and measuring expectations minimizes feeling bitterly underwhelmed on Valentine’s Day.

What truly matters on February 14, and every day of your satisfying relationship is that you feel loved, respected, and desired by someone whom you love, respect, and cherish.  So talk it over with the one you love and make Valentine's Day as personal and loving as your satisfying relationship.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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